I am now 18 which I find absolutely insane. I graduated May 15th, 2022. Thinking back to everything that has happened in the last few years, I couldn’t believe I could be at where I’m at now. I have got this amazing fiance, he’s 21 btw and I am 6 months pregnant now. Its now 2023 which is the craziest thing and being a part of his life has been a wild journey and I wouldn’t change it for the world. I have known him for pretty much 3 years now and I was so excited to meet him last year. I met him on June 8th last year and he was living with his aunt and uncle. Might I say we had planned it for a while, we would be on video call almost every night. We started to date April 17th last year around 9:30pm. I now realize on the 17th of this month we will have been together for 9 months, which might I say is the longest relationship I’ve ever had. Continuing the story; nox(my best friend)was planning on bringing me up to Sedalia to see him. Me and him had talked about it for a bit because Blake was wanting to see me and I was wanting to see him. Meeting him was better than I ever expected, I was so nervous but excited and when I saw him for the first time in person I just melted. I gave him a hug then kissed him on the lips and then he mentioned his family was having a BBQ at around 5, which me and nox was just planning on spending a few hours there and then going back home but that didn’t happen. Anyway we all went inside and chilled for a bit and we had to sit on the floor because there was not really any furniture(which no shame to them). I walked around for a moment and then we sat on the floor and i had my polaroid camera with me and i was planning on taking a picture with him because i wanted to capture meeting him for the first time.

Moving on we ended up going to his grandpas BBQ and me and nox had met some of his family and we ended up getting later into the night and it was beginning to get too late for nox to drive us back. I wanted to be safer than sorry, so I decided we were going to spend the night at his uncles house. Being with him there was the best feeling cause I met his cousin, mom, stepdad, and a few other people. Which when I met his mom I knew I loved her, she was just amazing. I believe it was around 10 or so that night that I got a message from my dad asking me when I was going to be home and I told him that I was going to be spending the night up here and he was like ok just be home in the morning which I agreed to it cause duh I was there with someone I found out to be the love of my life later on. I was happy and I wasn’t worried about my dad at all. Going to see him was pretty much an escape from home and I felt free and didn’t really have to worry about anything. Whenever we all got back to the house we got the beds set up and we all chilled for a bit then went to bed. His stepdad had gotten drunk and when he walked past me and blake he told us “no hanky panky” which made us both laugh. Little did I know this man, my man would get me to try things I never wanted to try or get me to do things I never thought I would want to do.

Morning comes and we both dread the fact that I have to go back home to my dads. Me and nox ended up going home I think around 12 or 1 in the afternoon. Blake didn’t want me to go and I didn’t want to go either but I had to or dad would be mad. I hate making my dad mad. We ended up going to the animal shelter and when we were almost done looking at all the dogs and stuff dad called me wondering where I was at. I told him I would be home in a bit. I saw a lot of blake that I never expected to see and learned a lot about him within the day and a half that I was with him. Anyway we ended up getting sonic and then headed home. When I got home I just sat in my room on my bed remembering what had happened the day before and just relished in the fact that meeting him and part of his family was the best thing ever.

About a month later as me, blake and nox had been talking about moving situations because I was getting fed up with how I was being treated by dad and I would call blake crying everytime because I wanted him to know what happened, and he wanted me to get out of there as well. I was struggling so hard because I got advice from everyone saying that I shouldn’t move in with him because we had been together for only a few months and nox had told me we wouldn’t be together by our one year because living together would be a big mistake. Nox had gone through this with her ex and he just didnt want to see me hurt because of how much he cares about me. I was on call with him one night and me and him had talked about me moving in with him and at the time nox had been with a girl named cordelia and me and nox had gone to the airport to meet her and after knowing her for 3/4 years and never meeting her within that time it would be understandable why nox would be hella nervous to meet her. We went to the airport to meet cordelia I believe this was the sunday after meeting my fiance, it was June 12th I believe that we went to the airport to meet her. I’m pretty sure the airport was in St. Louis. I believe that she ended up giving me a hug or something but i don’t quite remember. Anyway moving on, I remember being on call with him one night and I had started a love letter to him and we had texted back and forth over moving in together and I was scared to do so cause me and nox and cordelia were planning on moving in together in august and blake ended up being so upset over the fact that I said that I thought maybe moving in together would have been a bad idea because of what courtney said about her exes and living together and what nox about her ex living together. He had explained to me how being with me was the best he ever felt(something like that) and how sleeping next to him stopped him from having night terrors and I was worried about when his mom dies because shes really sick and has cancer and I wanted to be there for him when she does go because I know he would take it really hard. All that had led up to me finally deciding to take the risk of moving in with him. Even though taking the risk might be a bad idea, I wanted to see what living with him would be like and if I could prove everyone wrong.

If I’m really being honest living with him is the best decision I have ever made. While I was working at Walmart my co worker had said something about a rock concert that she was going to in St. Louis on the 5th of july and I thought that would be a genius idea for a date because he liked all the bands that were going to be playing. After some contemplating over the next couple of days it was decided that it wasn’t going to be the best idea even though I had already gotten the 5th off for it. I was still determind to go up to sedalia to see him cause I wasn’t going to waste that day off at dads. Me and nox had created up a lie that I was gonna spend the week at nox’s parents house. Its the day of the 5th after going to ericas(my cousins) baby shower on the 3rd and after dad agreed to that little arrangement we went up to sedalia. Me and nox went up to blakes aunt and uncles house and I was so glad to see him. Nox ended up staying for a bit then left me at the house with him after giving him and a hug then leaving. I ended up turning my location off so no one knew where I was everyone was worried.

To finish this story off my dad got mad after he found out that I practically moved out without him knowing and he told me I had to have all of my stuff moved out by the weekend. Everyone ended up finding out that I had abruptly moved and was disappointed but was glad I was ok. After everything people became content with me moving as time went on given I was closer to family. Up to present time people are happy that I’m pregnant with a little girl and her name is Brielle and we plan on moving again by the end of January hopefully to be in a big enough house for all of us and that we will be content with where were at. I’m working at Long John silvers at the moment being 6 months pregnant missing my best friend and hopefully me and blake will have our own place to raise the child by next year.

I’m so sorry it took you this long to read but now you know where im at in the present and i hope you beautiful people have an awesome year and a wonderful day.

So, this is something that i learned while working at McDonald’s. It’s actually pretty simple, if i do say so myself.(And quite delicious too!)(Fair warning, if you’re lactose and tolerant, I wouldn’t suggest making this!)

Now what you’re going to do is:(Go out and get the ingredients if you don’t have them, it’s worth it trust me)

1. Do 4 pumps of –

2. It all depends on the glass you are using, but if you’re using a mason jar then its pretty simple. Pour ice into your mason jar(or whatever glass)

3. Then put a little bit(or a lot, depending on your tastes) of Hershey’s caramel syrup into the cup.

4. After that fill your cup with milk(whichever one you like) almost to the top, but not all the way. Mix it!

5. Top it off with a little bit of coffee, then watch an ombre effect happen.(It’s really cool!)Don’t mix this part, let gravity happen(lol)

That is all I have for you guys today, so enjoy this recipe and do with it as you please. Have a good day everyone!

Have you ever had a moment where you find yourself so in love with someone? Well it was like that for me for the 1st few months of my 10th grade year. I met a guy and at the time I was 15 and he was 18, I should have never gone towards the idea of thinking that me and him could date but I did. The more we got to know each other the more I found myself falling more and more in love with him.

So I met this guy around the 1st of my last year(10th grade) and well I can remember how we met like it was yesterday. I had seen him in a group of his friends, one of them I actually knew and I went over to his table to see if like me and this guy were friends. Come to find out he never liked me and we weren’t really friends. It was that first day that I instantly knew that(lets call this guy john)there was something different about john and like me and John started talking that first day and I noticed his gorgeous blue eyes and I kinda fell in love with his eyes. My favorite color of eyes is green or blue so yeah. Then like I’m pretty sure I asked john if he thought I was cute and he said I was. Well every day after that for like a long while I sat at johns table just to get closer to him.

Even then he was afraid of the age difference as he got closer to me and I kept reassuring him that age shouldn’t matter because to me it doesn’t and like it had to be his top thought on his mind when he was around me. He was always worried that we were 3 years apart in age and like at one point we weren’t dating but just talking and he had called me his(he said “i glad that your mine”) and what I don’t understand is, why would he listen to his parents whenever he told me he loved me and all this and that. Let me explain; so like we went through these phases of sending long paragraphs telling each other that we were glad that we met and that we hoped to marry in the future and all this and that. I went over to his parents house to meet his parents and for the time I was there his parents seemed chill with me. I’m pretty sure the day after I had got a a text from john saying that we should just be friends and that just broke my heart because after all that time i wondered why he would throw it away when we loved each other. Well I thought we did. So up to December 13th we stayed friends on Facebook and snap chat and then he blocked me. He went on with his life like I never meant anything to him at all.

My thing is how can 2 people be so in love then fall out of it like that. Like literally after he told me we should be just friends, I cried so much I literally have never ever cried so much over someone ever. I’m just thinking back to it and like I want things to go back to before he felt the need to break my heart like he did, go back to all the lovey dovey stuff and I wanted it to stay like that forever but somehow I fell like him breaking my heart was my fault in a way. We were never dating but I was too attached to him by that point and whenever he told me that we should just be friends it literally broke my heart into a million pieces. If I never met him, if i never walked up to that lunch table, if we never started talking, if i never fell in love or never came over to his parents house and the worse one of them all if i was never so touchy and sexual none of this would ever have happened so yes this is all of my fault and I realize this. Whenever I get attached to someone so much I become infatuated with them and therefore they are all I can ever think about.

Sometimes I hate getting attached to someone just to get my heart broken by them. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t have the ability to love so easily but I guess it makes me who I am.

Sorry for making this sad everyone but I wanted to share how I feel because I felt the need to share it with you all.

I know i haven’t been on here in like forever, but I started off quarantine crying because I couldn’t see anyone. We are now in July and I am way past that. I started looking more forwards to school and everything that is going to be happening in the next few months or so.

I figured staying off of my phone more would help me out a lot next year, and I really have to get back into reading, I haven’t done much of that ever since I got a phone. So doing that I think will keep my head clear for the coming school year. There is always points in your life to where you have to look at your future instead of staying in the present.

I feel like getting a job at the age I’m at will help me with future expenses, like a car or even college! My dad does tend to be stubborn at times and right now he doesn’t think me having a job is the best, but I feel like it would prepare me for future jobs I would have and I do understand the responsibility it takes to have a job and all of that(even though I stay up later than I should lol~I’m gonna fix that).

I am thinking about going back into the A+ program next year to allow myself to further the ability to get a scholarship or something from it(not having to pay for college would be great).

I think that is all I have to say everyone, I hope quarantine goes well for the rest of you and I will see ya’ll later!

So probably all of you guys have noticed that I haven’t been on here for quite some time and this whole COVID – 19 stuff is practically making me go insane but isn’t everyone.

Its been a crazy like 3 months now, I can’t believe i’m saying that. For me being out of school is kind of rough because I like going to school. I think everyone(well most) can agree that being in school is better than being stuck at home. At this point I’ve done some type of hand lettering /calligraphy, learned how to hand sew better, made a few recipes here and there and cooked a lot more.

I decided to make like a birthday binder, instead of having to remember the birthdays they would be jotted down in a binder. Here’s a few of the months that I did, well a few of my favorites:

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

Now personally, I really like the October one, but I think I did good on all of them. There might be a lot going on with July but that’s just what I came up with. August is simple but it looks pretty. I used to draw like movie/tv show titles/logos, so that’s where I got the ability to do calligraphy and I figured i would look more into during quarantine since I want to keep myself busy.

I feel like being a visual learner being out of school makes things harder on me because I can’t focus on the one thing that im not distracted about. Being at home just leaves me distracted with everything but school I know I should focus on school but it’s hard for me to do just that. Right now I should probably be in bed so I think thats where im gonna go so night night everyone and that was me catching up talk to you guys later on my next ted talk(I’m totally funny lmao)

• Put the award logo / image on your blog
• List the rules
• Thank whoever nominated you and put a link to their blog –
• Mention the creator of the award- This award was created by Okoto Enigma
• Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
• Answer the questions provided by whoever nominated you
• Nominate 10-20 bloggers
• Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
• Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice with 1 weird or funny question
• Share a link to your best post

Those are the rules

I thank madison from mychemisbackoffice for nominating me

This award was created by Okoto Enigma!!

Three things about myself:

• I love absolutely every kinds of music, I can listen to practically anything. Most hardcore rock I will not listen to tho. I listen to artists and bands like Billie Eilish, 5 seconds of summer, Panic! At The Disco, Melanie Martinez, Ariana Grande(Bunches more that I can’t think of lol)
• I’ve always loved to sing and dance, its been my most favorite thing to do ever since I was real little.
• I love to bake and cook, more baking. I do enjoy doing both though😁. I actually made a whipped cream pound cake the other day that turned out amazing, once it cooled down enough I drizzled caramel syrup on top and it seeped in, it tasted amazinggggg.

Madison Asked:

1. What is your biggest acheivment?
2. What is your favorite song/album?
3. What is the best thing you can cook?
4. How has your week been?
5. What is your weirdest memory from your childhood?

My answers:

1. Honestly my biggest achievement would have to be, either creating a better relationship with my mom(had a rough past) or being able to make amazing friends throughout the years.
2. Hmm, now this is a hard one because there are so many good songs and albums out there it’s crazy but ariana grande and billie eilish are two of my favorite artists so I would have to say for billie it’s When We Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? and for ariana Yours Truly.
3. Hamburgers. They might be easy but I can make mean one.
4. Its been good.
5. I don’t remember much from my childhood, so for that I couldn’t really say.

My best post:

Life Grrr

I have no one to nominate lol, but I got nominated so I did my part lol.

I am normally not a political person or what not but I think its time to talk about it, I mean why not because everyone else is talking about it, I’m just gonna give my own opinion on this. Honestly I find it to be kinda scary, even tho from what I heard 2% of people over 50 could die from it. What I’m thinking is that, since my immune system is really strong I don’t think I would end up getting it. It started in another country then it migrated itself towards the United States, I have heard that a lot of things closed down for the time doing because of this epidemic. I mean I don’t wanna get all religious and stuff but I’m going to anyway. Well anyway in my perspective I am a christian so I do believe in God and all that and well I feel like he is going to keep me safe from this whole entire pandemic that is happening. Also I am a little sick but that doesn’t mean that I got the corona.

On another note, this whole corona thing it’s intimidating, it really is but everyone needs to stay strong in keeping themselves clean and all that.

Don’t forget to sanitize or keep your hands and everything clean.

This is it for today’s post I hope ya’ll stay safe and keep clean, have a good day everyone!

Guys, I’m finally 16. I don’t know what to say or what to do now that I’m 16 and its been the best life for the most of it. I mean I have grown plenty of great friends and best friends and lost some in the process but that’s how things are supposed to go right? Of course they are supposed to go that way, it’s the whole factor of allowing us to pick ourselves back up and keep moving forwards, if things were to be perfect life would be boring. I don’t know about the rest of you but I like to keep things interesting and if things were perfect it would get boring ya know? I ended up gaining another best friend this year me and her gone through some stuff this year but we stayed strong we helped each other out when needed and we lifted each other up when needed also. I’m just very very blessed to have her she’s amazing in every single way and I couldn’t see life without her.

Love you Madi and I hope you have an amazing day😁😁

But anyway, I have gone through a lot this year and it has been a good run being 15 then turning 16 just yesterday. I think that gaining and loosing people is what in the end keeps me strong, because I always know there are more out there to make friends with or be best friends with or whatever.

I’ve lived my whole life trying to be myself and in the end it turned out good I grew up to be a good person and I ended up getting over my insecurities with the help of my father. The thing I’ve learned is to never give up, because if you keep pushing you will end up reaching your goal and then you will be in an amazing place. So my motto is, “Give up you loose, Achieve your dream you win”(I just came up with it, but I mean it’s very true though)😁😁

Honestly my life is pretty boring right now for the fact that I don’t really have anything interesting happening right now. Well not too long ago I decided to write an uplifting note for my bf, I thought it was cute honestly and well I feel like he’s not gonna know what to say after reading it because I means hes all shy and stuff which I find to be really cute. Every once in a while he will be getting a note from time to time just to keep him on his feet. I’m doing this out of my own will honestly, I’ve never had a bf like this and I find it kind of crazy how he ended up turning me clingy and possessive, like and that was in a week, it’s seriously insane. Anyone that I have ever dated I have never been like this with and I really wanna keep him for a long time and just I don’t know because I’ve never been able to keep a relationship long at all which sucks but things are how they are.

Well at this point I’m glad to have what I have and rn my life couldn’t be any better, even though I am grounded, but we ain’t gonna get into that rn😂. But there’s like so many topics and things to get into but I don’t know what to talk about on here half the time and my friend has got a blog on this website as well and it’s crazy good shes amazing at what she does. I mean shes got more than a few followers on her blog and she’s just SO talented and I couldn’t imagine a life without her, I would think it would be pretty boring without her in it she puts the Excite into exciting😆😆(Don’t ask lmao).

But anyway my very good friend, I think she knows who she is but shes been good to me ever since we met and I just want to thank her for it.

I guess that’s it for now I will talk to ya’ll later.😁😁

So obviously today is Valentine’s Day and well yesterday morning I made my bf ice cream and today I chose a couple of stuffies that I had and gave them to him he thought they were cute when I have them to him. My bf made it seem like he got me a whole bunch of stuff, he did just not as much as I thought he would. Honestly I am not trying to brag or anything I just want to share what he got me. So he got me a pack of 6 Hershey’s cookies and cream bars, small tub of cotton candy, Starbucks cookie cake pop and Venti white chocolate mocha, he made me a bunch of tiny chocolate cookies using his family’s recipe and might I just say they are amazinggg.

The very last thing he got me is absolutely gorgeous, it’s a real diamond necklace that costed $124!! Like I couldn’t believe it when i read the tag, but ig that’s what he gets for buying a real diamond necklace. This has been the best day ever and i’m glad I actually finally get to spend it with someone instead of being absolutely lonely😂. I know its been only like 5 or 6 days of dating him but I find myself so attached to him it’s not even funny.